Just a peek through the glass....

For the one's I call Brother, you are my hero....

With this weeks tragic loss of two brother Firefighters from Boston during a fast moving Back Bay Brownstone fire, I am humbled to see such gratitude and respect given to them through the TV,Papers and Online Social Media. Those two brave men knew exactly what they were facing and did not hesitate in their job to save life and property while putting their own lives in jeopardy for the people they were sworn to protect. The people of Boston and cities and towns around the country are safe because of men and women who are willing to put their own lives on the line for them. Being a Firefighter, Police Officer or EMT has so much more meaning than what the public sees. Everyone has the choice to do with their lives as they so please. I have my personal reasons for why I chose to enter the Fire Service and if I choose my words correctly in this blog, you will get a small look into the window of why.

In almost every job, you have a co-worker. For the most part, you see this person or persons about five times a week for approximately eight hours a day. There is a bond formed though conversation's about your social or personal life at lunch. You may even form a friendship at work that lasts a lifetime. When you are hired in the Fire Service, you will very quickly realize that this is not your typical 9-5 job. Your first day is like being dropped into the middle of a fully functioning household and trying to see where you fit in. The mornings are very similar to actually being at your own home. The sounds of people getting out of bed on the floor above you, showers running, pots and pans being moved around and the smell of coffee being made fills the kitchen. Brothers and Sisters coming in for a shift with large duffel bags filled with needed belongings to sustain themselves for an unknown amount of time in the event they need to stay longer than their shift calls for. Voices and laughter echo with stories of the past nights happenings in and outside the house. Yesterdays mornings conversations are picked up where they left off like no time has passed. The news on the TV can be heard in the background with moments of silence when an interesting story is being reported. Just like home, the phone rings with calls from a Brothers family member needing to tell them something they had forgotten before they left home. Before you hand the phone over to them, a five minute discussion ensues between the Brothers family member and you about the silly thing they did last night. (Always good ammo for a later conversation.) Just like I said, It's like home.

Station chores are done by everyone. Floors are washed, rugs are vacumed and trash is put out. The dishwasher is emptied and filled again with breakfast's lot. Toilets are scrubbed, sinks are gleaming and beds are stripped and re-made with the thought that maybe an hour or two of sleep maybe earned later that night. The roar of the rigs starting up for their first of two daily checks can be heard on the apparatus floor. On nice days, the front of the station becomes open to the world when the bay doors start to make their way to the ceiling. (For some reason, the sound of the bay doors is calming to me. I have no explanation for this.) The rigs are moved to the apron in front of the station and soap buckets are filled. The truck wash is done while the apparatus floor is swept and maybe washed as-well. Sometimes the smell of gasoline fills the air as saws and generators are tested and ran. The familiar sound of SCBA packs being checked annoys your ears, but thats a good thing knowing it's loud enough to hear in a noisy environment if your life hangs in the balance. All this and much more being done throughout the day in between answering alarms.

Your life. Have you ever intrusted a family members well being into another knowing they will be in places you know are not safe? This is where you are going to hear the word brotherhood often. In most families, not everyone gets along. There are arguments and tempers will flare. When the drama passes, one thing always remained the same. If called upon, I promise you will not go alone or without one hell of a fight. Most of the time, we are not blood related, but we are brothers. If we are willing to sacrifice our lives for each other and the people we are sworn to protect, we have to be family, no question, blood or not.

It's perfectly fine to me that kids look up to sports players or actors as heros. I did to when I was a child. Nobody could touch the LA Dodgers or Orel Hershiser. As I got older, I started to see things differently. My heros don't make millions of dollars and are not household names. They live middle class lives and have the very same values I have. I have been honored to have spent many Holidays and special occasions with them. They know things about me that is "Family only" type of stuff. We have seen things together that nobody should ever be accustomed to as well as wonderful things everyone should experience. They are truly caring individuals who always put others before themselves. I know for a fact even if they don't, that the general public is always safer because they are there waiting for the bell to tip.

I can't explain every part of the job. I don't have the time, nor do I want to. I wanted to just give a glimpse into my path. How these men and women are hard working, caring individuals who have made a career out of giving themselves for others. You often hear about the monetary issues with this job. Simply put, it is and never has been about us. It is always about the families we may leave behind so that they may have the opportunity to continue their lives in the event we are no longer there. Just knowing they will be okay. A fair wage for a fair days work. Nothing more, nothing less.

God bless the men and women who wear the uniform, wherever they may be. For the ones that have gone before us, the ones that are riding now and the ones that will come after us.

Tis the Season...Atleast I think so..

First, I want to take a second to say the last few weeks have been trying to say the least, but I have realized the strength of family and friends can overcome the worst hurt. I am forever thankful for the people in my life. Thanks to everyone that pushed me forward and continue to do so. I also want people that are having a hard go at it lately that I am also thinking of them and wish only the best. I would like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

This time of year, adults tend to miss the little things that make this time of year so special. Like most of us, I was cursing the snow while shoveling the driveway this week. When did I start hating the snow? Maybe when I became a homeowner or had to travel some distance to work? The first snow fall was so exciting to me as a kid. I remember that smokey cold air that seemed to roll in hours before the first flakes. While watching the news last week prior to the snow fall, I mentioned to Jenn that it was forecasted. Lily got so excited and I probably made some remark about how much of a PIA the snow was. I wish I could redo that moment again and justify her excitement. Next storm, I promise myself that I will get excited with her and hope for enough to go outside and play again. I want to teach her to not let go of that kid she is now when she is my age and when she has children of her own.

I recently wrote about the Elf on a Shelf being a leverage tool. I think I was wrong. Lily looks for "Elfie" every morning as if she is trying to find a friend. She gets excited when she does find her and actually talks to her sometimes as if she was real. She says goodnight to her and next week, it will be hard for her to say goodbye for another year. The belief that she goes back and reports to sant on her behavior is real. It's her personal link to Santa. That certainly doesn't sound like a leverage tool. It sounds like a little girl believing in something magical.

We all complain about shopping for family and friends and want to get it done a quickly as possible. Get in and get out! When we get home, the thought of wrapping everything creates more anxiety. This week, Lily's school had a small store for the kids to bring in some money and pick out little gifts for their family's. I remember doing this when I was her age as well. It was probably the thing I looked forward to the most this time of year. She brought the gift home and ran to the office, closed the door and began trying to wrap her hand picked gifts herself. I could hear her humming Christmas tunes and at the same time getting frustrated with the tape and bows. She carried the wrapped gifts out of that room and placed them under the tree all by herself. The look of accomplishment and seeing how proud she was of herself made my day. I got to see a few of the things she purchased for family members and I could see why she picked them for that specific person. In her mind, she saw the person she was shopping for in the gift. It's not what the gift is, but the reason she picked it for them that will make it a keepsake.

When did we start seeing the holiday season as a burden? What year did the magic disappear for me or yourself? I think the best gift we can give our children this time of year is to justify their excitement and go with it. Don't let age or holiday responsibilities ruin it for them or yourself. Take the time to enjoy the things you work so hard on to prepare. Make memories that your kids can tell their own someday. Give them the ability to see that Christmas time means to you exactly what it means to them for years to come. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

The Leverage of the Holidays...

During this time of year, parents usually struggle with the holiday season with the grace of a Bull in a China shop. I watch and hear the parents at school talking about the never ending battle of Christmas shopping and special events along with their children's regular weekly routines. I want to yell "STOP!". You are the parent and especially this time of year, YOU have the leverage on all things kids!

My routine is probably no different from many of yours. If I'm working, I'm out the door before anyone else is up, but if I'm off for the day, get up, kid dressed, breakfast, kid to school and then on to my day. During the summer time, everything pretty much stays the same except the school thing. Between sports, Girl Scouts and a few other things during the week, we are a very normal family. We always try to eat dinner together and talk about our days followed by homework, child in the shower time, PJ's then a bit of down time, watching part of a movie or playing a game followed by kid to bed and the cycle starts all over again in the Morning. But......

What we forget sometimes this time of year is the power we hold! We are the Zeus's of this month! The little Elf on a Shelf thing I so detest is only one of our many thunderbolts. My six year old will freeze at any mention of a bad report to "Santa" during a tantrum or mischievous activity. The mention of the direct line I have to "Santa" and the weekly phone session we hold together works like a charm. I can only believe that there is never so many behaving children as there is in December.

There is a darker side to these thunderbolts of leverage. Let me explain what I mean exactly. There may come a time when the leverage is challenged. The Elf returning back to "Santa" is questioned, or even the possibility of having "Santa's" phone number is brought up. "Santa will bring me gifts even if I act like a crumb!" is yelled in your face. Step back my friends and look at your opponent dead in their little eyes and calmly say the following, "Do you really want to challenge what i'm telling you?". Also, have a friend on speed dial. Even change their name in your phone for the season to "Santa", but make sure they know a call may come that you refer to them as "Santa" when they answer hello. If this simple step isn't done, third party 911 could be initiated and the whole damn plan goes to crap! Have your friend talk for a minute to your youngster in there best "sant" or even "Mrs. Santa's" voice. When it comes to the Elf on the Shelf thing, maybe the Elf skips a day but leaves a note saying they needed a day to rest after such a hard day of overseeing bad behavior. It's okay folks, putting the screws to a child because of bad behavior this time of year doesn't make you a bad parent, it makes you an innovator!

I love my daughter more than words could express, but there are days she knows what button to press from January to November. When it comes to number 12 on the calendar, We the parents have the power! We all know the big secret when it comes to Christmas morning. no matter what our kids put us though during the year, we love them and there will always be presents under the tree from the big guy.

Special Note (Small Print): If you decide to try one of my Thunderbolts and it doesn't work to your satisfaction, your innovation skills are sub-par and I will in no way be blamed for your failures!

As always, Happy Holidays. Enjoy your time with friends and family and stay Alpha in your household!

So it's Christmas time again!...

Well let me first start by saying Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Happy Kwanzaa to everyone out there. I guess a simple "Happy Holidays" would suffice but sometimes enjoy being long winded.

My morning started out very normal. I was woken up by the calls of the "Queen Bee", otherwise known as Lily asking to get up from bed and come downstairs. She still does not get the concept of being able to get up whenever she wants (A normal time), come downstairs put the TV on and watch some cartoons until Jenn or myself rise and shine ourselves. But anyway, I got up and walked to the stairs yelling up my morning cadence, "Come on down Kiddo!". This is where things got interesting. Instead of the usual "Okay!" yelled back and the sound of feet hitting the floor, I got "It's December! Is Elfie here?" (Elfie is our Elf on the Shelf). For people that are wondering what that is, a few years back someone came up with this ingenious idea to mass produce an elf looking doll and tell parents to hide it around the house for the month of December. The children of the house run around trying to find it in the morning. The catch is, it can never be touched and every night he or she reports back Santa on the child's behavior for the day. Well, guess who forgot what day it was and wasn't sure of "elfie's exact location in the basement closet. If you guessed Jenn, then you are correct! What a slacker!..Okay, it was me. Jenn mentioned it to me yesterday and I said I would handle it. I did not handle it. Well, with some quick and thinking, I came up with a really bad answer to yell back up to Lily. "Ohh She must have forgot to check her calendar, and I'm sure she is on the way for tomorrow morning!" In return I get Silence. No feet hitting the floor, No "Okay!", nothing but silence. What do I do now. Well for one thing, I'm not going to lie, a bit of panic set in knowing she has waited all year for this day.

Yup, I take off for the basement closet! I'm working hard at rehab and had to take every stair with caution, but I did really good with not going ass over tea kettle. I get to the closet and the digging begins. I still haven't heard the sound of feet so time is still on my side. Boxes, gift bags, wrapping paper and Found!...Elfie and the unbelievable secure box he was purchased in! I never knew Brinks home security was a sub division of "Elf on a Shelf". Did I hear something? No, not yet! I still have to find the combination for Elfie and get back up the stairs! Screw it, I devastate the box and grab the doll. yup, I was right..footsteps coming down from the second floor. Closing my eyes, I basically levitate up the stairs, pull the bracelet of my arm that Lily so lovingly made me, put it on "Elfies" head and throw the damn thing on top of the pendulum clock immediately hanging on the wall to the right of the stairs. Around the corner comes a very pissed off 6 year old with hair sticking up like one of those trolls on top of a pencil. I am standing there taking a pose probably looking like someone who just levitated up a flight of stairs with a doll.
She walks by me without a word and sittis in the living room couch facing the clock on the wall. The face she was wearing was one of disgust looking through the man that promised an Elf would be here on December 1st,2013.

About 10 minutes pass and still not a word from the disappointed six year old. Then it happened. Eyes as wide as saucers and a smile that lit up the eastern seaboard. "ELFIE!!!, Dad, Elfie is here and you didn't see him?! Dad, you're so silly saying Elfie was not going to be here until tomorrow! I knew he was coming on time! He even has your bracelet on his head? You should really keep it on your arm because I made it for you! Funny Elfie!"

Yup, that silly Elfie making me looking like a "Father of the Year" nominee in my kid's eyes..LOL! Well anyway, disaster diverted, a little sweat (nothing new) and no injuries in the process besides a broken "Elf on the Shelf" Titanium lockbox. Christmas time begins and I'm going to go put my Chicago Blackhawks jersey on for the day. I wonder if Jenn has checked the Shitters lately?


"Well I'm gonna park the cars and get check the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the season." C.G.

"Giving Thanks"..The oldest of us can learn a thing or two!

This week has definitely not been one of the finer weeks in the near past, but a few things happened that literally may have changed my way of thinking. I'm hoping this could be a "new" me. This blog was designed to make people laugh and get a better view of the inside of my life without giving up everything there is to know. I just so happened to start it on a week of more sadness and disappointment than originally anticipated. For this reason, I apologize for the readers that are looking for the original bounds of the blog, but am sure future posts and hopefully part of this one will bring a smile.

I was hoping to return to work this week after suffering from a relapse due to a serious back injury from a few years back at work. I have been working hard to get back to what I love doing. I find it so difficult to sit home day after day by myself (Wife at work, Kid at school) not being able to do much of anything. The last few weeks my weekly groove is dropping my daughter off at school and heading to the Station for a few hours to visit my second family. Being there makes me genuinely happy and the comradery is good for the recovery. Along with the Calls and texts from the Brothers, it helps a lot. Getting back to this weeks occurrence, I was told by my Doctor that I need about 6 more weeks of rehab, but I can return to work after only 2 with the remaining 4 weeks being done on my days off. Now, everyone has told me 2 weeks is nothing, and they are 100% correct. I just got my hopes up in returning earlier and resume my daily life activities. I was injured at work and out for much of the last 2 years with a few surgeries to boot. I personally felt like I have not dealt with it easily or with any sort of stride. A lot of depression had set in throughout the time and feelings of hopelessness had overtaken me more than I ever thought could. I'm generally a anxiety ridden person with the patience of a hungry dog waiting on it's food, but at work it's different. My anxiety is generally null and I feel a lot more confident than being anywhere else. I don't mean to sound whiny because I dodged a bullet this time with my injury that frankly could have put me out for much, much longer. I feel lucky, just my patience issue I guess. Soon enough I will be back and life will proceed on.

Secondly this week a friend passed away unexpectedly. I has hit a lot of people very hard due to the type person he was. His family has constantly been on my mind as well as my friendship with him and a lot of good memories. Next weeks services for him are not going to be easy for anyone and I pray that whatever higher power his friends and family believe in carry them through and hold them close for the remaining future. Because of his passing, I have reconnected with many old friends and the conversations have been nothing but positivity and love toward our pasts together and how everyone will get through the early week together. These Things together is where I have felt a change in myself. I'm a lucky guy to say the least. My family has supported me through all my achievements and disappointments. The unconditional love and a few hard kicks in the pants have made me who I am today. My second family watches out for me and never hesitates to tell me how it is. It's a different and harder type of encouragement, But having different approaches from different sides leading to the same outcome is good. Now reconnecting with friends of old has taught me time and distance apart doesn't always change the relationship. It's kind of like someone put it on pause for awhile so each of us could do what we needed to do for ourselves. It will be good to see them and hit the start button again. All week people have posted what they are thankful for. I have seen so many beautiful posts of thanks but have yet to post my own.

Before dinner yesterday my daughter was asked what she is thankful for. I was figuring her being a six year old would say her toys or some other monetary objects but she pointed to Jenn and Me. It made me think that kids are capable of understanding "it" even though they don't get the credit so sometimes deserved.

So, what am I thankful for? I am thankful for every little achievement, disappointment, losses and gains, Family, friends and anything in my soon to be 36 years that has got me to where I am today. Happy Holidays to everyone and I am look forward to seeing all of you this holiday season. “Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”..A.A. Milne

Finding the right words...

Today I learned of a past coworker but more importantly an old friend that passed away this morning. I can only think of how his lovely wife and children will miss him as well as so many people he called friends. There is a great many memories and stories I could tell and will have to remember him by. Our first day working together will forever be etched in my mind. From that day on, I considered him a friend.

Like so to often, things in life change and distances between friends grow further and further until it seems like there was never a past at all. Not with you though. Last time I saw you we hugged and spoke about our families and getting together with everyone from work. It felt like not a minute had passed from the last time we spoke. That was the type of guy he was. Simply a Friend.

"Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos." ~Charles M. Schulz

Who am I? What you should know about me..

Baltasar Gracian, a writer and philosopher from the 1600's who once wrote "Don't show off every day, or you'll stop surprising people. There must always be some novelty left over. The person who displays a little more of it each day keeps up expectations, and no one ever discovers the limits of his talent." This is my favorite quote of all time. I have always felt like it has fit me like a glove since the day I first read it. My approach to most people varies on my mood like most but also how I wish them to view me. I worry very much on how people view me. Most of the time, I want to make people laugh. I generally find myself to be the funniest person on earth..lol..okay, but at least in my own house I hate that a lot more people don't know the real me that hides behind myself if that even makes sense. Family and my close friends who mainly are the guys that are employed like myself get me. (At least most of them do..lol) Probably because we are a lot alike and hold most of the same values.

Family is blood and nothing can change that even if you wanted to. (I myself don't want to.) I have a great relationship with both my wife's side and my side and wouldn't change a thing. They understand how I think and most of the time have an Idea of what I'm going to say. At home, we try to laugh a lot! And I do mean a lot. I lovingly call my wife the "Principal", because she has to keep my daughter inline and a lot of times myself as well. She is a saint when it comes to my antics. I have big dreams and a small wallet and a lot of times she has to be the voice of reason before I get in over my head with one of my ideas or "Projects"(At least what I call them). I love her for this reason and so much more. She constantly creates a stable ground for me to travel on and stay with Earths gravity. My daughter is the brightest sunny day to me. I look at her and wonder what I did to deserve such a blessing. She has me wrapped around her little finger for life. let's just say, if she does something wrong and I raise my voice, I'm usually the one apologizing to her..lol. Things are not always easy. We have good and bad times like everyone else, but we get through everything together. I'll probably write alot about my injuries. I'm lovingly called "The Catchers Mitt", I'm accident prone to say the least. For the most part, family gatherings are always fun. There being little kids around now, things have become more tame, but never the less, fun is always in the mix. I truly cherish the time I spend with them. Family comes first and always will. They love me for me alone and I am thankful for each and every one of them. I love them very much.

I am one of the lucky ones when it comes to family. I have a second family away from my actual home. Kind of like an elite club with a secret password to get in..lol. On your first day, all you want to do is fit in, Be one of the guys. It doesn't happen overnight or in a few weeks. You earn your spot by keeping your eyes open and your mouth shut. Take what is told to you and make it gospel. Your not the first new guy and won't be the last. But when you are finally excepted in to this family, it can be as close as blood. Some day you will be the one to except another and it will change there life like it did yours. It's a brotherhood stretching farther than the eye can see. Just like family, we work, play, eat, sleep under the same roof, experience wonderful things and the horrors of the world. We celebrate holidays and birthdays together too! A lot of times we hug hello and goodbye, hang out on our off time and know each others families very well. I have had some of my best laughs and hardest cries with them. But, just like regular families, we fight too. Sometimes like siblings going to war over a toy. In the end, truces are made and time begins to move again. There are plenty of other "clubhouses" close by and far away that you can walk into and be treated just like family. You belong to the same club, you just have a different "clubhouse" you call home. Just like our regular family's, there isn't much we wouldn't do for each other. And when I say not much, It includes some things that just are not talked about, but very well known. It is certainly a Band of Brothers. And I also love them very much.
I'm going to take this Blog and run with my own words (plus a few quotes), funny stories and the general and not so general things that are on my mind. You deserve to know were I'm coming from If your going to read about my life. feel free to comment on any blog I write. I generally pick everything apart down to the nuts and bolts. I always find myself in situations that I wish I carried a GOPRO camera with me. It may seem hard to believe about some of the things I write about, but I Promise it will be all true unless specified other wise. I love feedback and other peoples views. Don't hold back! If you think something I say is questionable, then speak up! Have any Ideas you want my outlook on (Keep it clean!) Shoot me a question! If you take the time to read my blog, then your opinion matters to me. I may not agree or take your advice, but I promise to at least think it over and weigh the options. This is probably going to be like written therapy for me! And free!

This is who I am. I'm a Husband, Father, Son, Brother, Friend and a Regular Guy! I like to keep a little mystery to myself and have learned that that's alright too. I'm not perfect and never expect to be. I do wrong like everyone else but always strive to at least try be better. So, there you have it! A short story and my first Blog in the books. I hope you enjoy what's to come and welcome to a little window into my life.