My morning started out very normal. I was woken up by the calls of the "Queen Bee", otherwise known as Lily asking to get up from bed and come downstairs. She still does not get the concept of being able to get up whenever she wants (A normal time), come downstairs put the TV on and watch some cartoons until Jenn or myself rise and shine ourselves. But anyway, I got up and walked to the stairs yelling up my morning cadence, "Come on down Kiddo!". This is where things got interesting. Instead of the usual "Okay!" yelled back and the sound of feet hitting the floor, I got "It's December! Is Elfie here?" (Elfie is our Elf on the Shelf). For people that are wondering what that is, a few years back someone came up with this ingenious idea to mass produce an elf looking doll and tell parents to hide it around the house for the month of December. The children of the house run around trying to find it in the morning. The catch is, it can never be touched and every night he or she reports back Santa on the child's behavior for the day. Well, guess who forgot what day it was and wasn't sure of "elfie's exact location in the basement closet. If you guessed Jenn, then you are correct! What a slacker!..Okay, it was me. Jenn mentioned it to me yesterday and I said I would handle it. I did not handle it. Well, with some quick and thinking, I came up with a really bad answer to yell back up to Lily. "Ohh She must have forgot to check her calendar, and I'm sure she is on the way for tomorrow morning!" In return I get Silence. No feet hitting the floor, No "Okay!", nothing but silence. What do I do now. Well for one thing, I'm not going to lie, a bit of panic set in knowing she has waited all year for this day.
Yup, I take off for the basement closet! I'm working hard at rehab and had to take every stair with caution, but I did really good with not going ass over tea kettle. I get to the closet and the digging begins. I still haven't heard the sound of feet so time is still on my side. Boxes, gift bags, wrapping paper and Found!...Elfie and the unbelievable secure box he was purchased in! I never knew Brinks home security was a sub division of "Elf on a Shelf". Did I hear something? No, not yet! I still have to find the combination for Elfie and get back up the stairs! Screw it, I devastate the box and grab the doll. yup, I was right..footsteps coming down from the second floor. Closing my eyes, I basically levitate up the stairs, pull the bracelet of my arm that Lily so lovingly made me, put it on "Elfies" head and throw the damn thing on top of the pendulum clock immediately hanging on the wall to the right of the stairs. Around the corner comes a very pissed off 6 year old with hair sticking up like one of those trolls on top of a pencil. I am standing there taking a pose probably looking like someone who just levitated up a flight of stairs with a doll.
She walks by me without a word and sittis in the living room couch facing the clock on the wall. The face she was wearing was one of disgust looking through the man that promised an Elf would be here on December 1st,2013.
About 10 minutes pass and still not a word from the disappointed six year old. Then it happened. Eyes as wide as saucers and a smile that lit up the eastern seaboard. "ELFIE!!!, Dad, Elfie is here and you didn't see him?! Dad, you're so silly saying Elfie was not going to be here until tomorrow! I knew he was coming on time! He even has your bracelet on his head? You should really keep it on your arm because I made it for you! Funny Elfie!"
Yup, that silly Elfie making me looking like a "Father of the Year" nominee in my kid's eyes..LOL! Well anyway, disaster diverted, a little sweat (nothing new) and no injuries in the process besides a broken "Elf on the Shelf" Titanium lockbox. Christmas time begins and I'm going to go put my Chicago Blackhawks jersey on for the day. I wonder if Jenn has checked the Shitters lately?
"Well I'm gonna park the cars and get check the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the season." C.G.
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